Sent to the New York Times:

Dear Editor,

The Republicans sure know how to party; they've all pulled themselves up by the boot-straps, but none of them mentioned that the boots in question were golden buskins. If the Republican party were truly attempting parsimony, perhaps they would cut out the evenings at expensive (and exclusive) restaurants, the fancy (and politically safe) entertainment, and the cocktails (whose organizers will, I'm sure, fret deciding which is the more economical -- roquefort or brie -- both imported, of course; and as for the crackers, well, ritzes, for all the party's ritzy glitz, would certainly be unacceptable).

No; the Republican convention, like the nation they run, is about making money and the attendees are no doubt among the world's largest moneymakers. Attending the convention is as much a matter of showing support as it is of keeping face, and the whole thing is not unlike the gathering of primped aristocrats at Versailles in the days of yore (though it's somewhat disconcerting to think of George W. Bush as Louis XIV's successor). Make no mistake about it, the only frugality on the part of the ruling party is towards spending on education, culture, and the poor.

Sincerely,
Alex Leibowitz.