I'm on fire; for some reason (maybe it's caffeine) I'm incredibly excited about the prospect of reading Heidigger, Kant, Derrida, Barthes...give me any philosopher (no matter how sophistic or sophisticated) and I'll read him. Well, actually, what I'm excited about is the possibility of reading some nice summaries, concise introductions to very complicated, challenging ideas. I always tackle the works directly, but maybe what I need to do is enter in on the shallow end (so to speak).

I had a hot chocolate, late into the night. I don't normally drink caffeine, so maybe that's why I'm all buzzed. I should be sleeping tonight, because tomorrow we're going to Taos, my mom and I. To be fair, at 3:30 in the afternoon...but I don't want to go to bed late, wake up early, and be all groggy the next day; although, it might be nice to talk a long nap during the four hours' ride down there.

I'm beginning to feel happier in Denver. Tonight I saw Ben and we had a long conversation about all sorts of philosophical things (quasi-philosophical...I'm sure we hit on a lot of errors and shallow distinctions) that was really invigorating. I was afraid to go out, for some reason; afraid to drive, to see old people, to reignite old friendships only to see them extinguished again the moment my plane touches down in P-Town this Saturday. But I suppose...you have to take things as you go. You have to be where you are when you are. That is, if you wanna go out on a date with someone, you go out on the date, that one date, regardless of whether you're going to have a long relationship or whether you're fleeing to Cuba the next morning. Carpe diem, as Horace says; grab things while you can, while you have the life surging through your veins, set yourself on fire!

It's a shame I'll have to leave Denver now for Taos...no time to put this newfound energy into practice. But I will have a chance to walk around Taos, to experience everything fully and intensely. I just want to down all of life. I want to drain the cup to the very dregs and suck on the bitter lees and chew up the seeds just for a taste of that sweet, sweet sappling hidden deep down. And I want to write, I want to analyze endlessly. How wonderful it is to be young and have the whole world at your fingertips, to feel everywhere a sense of ardorous promise. Yet I must sleep.