"No indeed," said the Prophet. He gazed across the dunes, across the empty, windless desert, across the far mountains, across to the first wisps of fog that were rising from the far distant blue and lapping waves. "Just as that," he began, "blue conjoins with darkness. Just as that, light sinks into immensity. Just as that, emptiness and light cascade, flicker, play upon the shadows of our passage."

With a rueful laugh, "I am no stranger to your ways. I have dwelled in your tents. I have seen the glistening white of them during the tranquility of dawn. O happy hour; O benificent being that grants us on this hour through the day the plentitude of rising, but the barreness of fall..."

"I have known the darkness, I have seen the void, cette certaine malade inconnue; and a candle is every flicker of light like the jewel of her forehead, and flickering flames adorn her ears. O Israel, Israel, what are your laws? O wherefore your tabernacles, Israel? My Israel was the daughter flowing into dust; my Israel forsakened and abandoned."

"And when the Shekinah fled into exile, the people followed her: O Israel, my Israel, you are flown upon the dust, like the last trickling rays of the setting sun: for when the Lord sacrificed his son in spirit, so he forsook his daughter in her body. O uhappiness, O Ruin, thou doest dwell in Zion. Count the days, for as the rising and the setting of the earth; as the breaking and the shaking off of leaves; as the snows, the winters, lives' calumnies, autumns' harvests, winters' joys -- so shall be your eyes and lips and hands. You are destined all to fall,"

The prophet paused, turned to the people, gave a long look to their spellbound faces like a child's wail, spoke heavily,

"There is no saviour. No, for there can be none. No, for God has abandoned the Klal Yishrael."

There is nothing more despicable than worship.

In response to Castiglione's The Courtier: an overzealous love of pleasure is never excusable, whether the source of that pleasure is physical, intellectual, or religious. Moderation is the measure and virtue of all things; the good man enjoys life not too excessively and not too meanly, and the wise man in his wisdom holds that life often oscillates between extremes; therefore, holding that an acquaintance of both pleasure and pain is desirable, and realizing it is in the faculties of apprehension and not in the thing apprehended that experience lies, one can be esteemed a learned man when he does not shun any circumstance, but steers himself temperately and contentedly through life, enjoying it not in the way immoderate fools drink strong draught that they might become drunk, but in the way the learned rabbi sips the consecrated fruits of the Sabbath vine, knowing that each sip imparts a delicate sensibility and a fragile sensitivity to the sanctified gift of Torah and life.

If it were to my portion, I would continually ignore and decry the Creator. The work of creation is immense, and to declaim it fills the individual with the same power of voice and anger of bearing that God must have felt when he shaped it and forged it. It is ours to tear down the walls of creation being that we eternally seek to eviscerate ourselves and find God. But God is hiding even beyond the walls. How is it that it can be said, "As God must have felt..."? Because God created man in the image of God. The first work of art. But it was the Image of God and it was not God Himself. Therefore it is an abomination to create images of God; for if even God could not suffice in and of Himself to create Himself, but instead in the mystery of His own image He made man, then how are we to presume to create God? And therefore the prohibition against all forms of idolatry, for even the ancients presumed to create new gods when the occasion warranted or it was convenient.

And I too am guilty of the presumption of creating my own gods. With words and with the flesh I imitate these transitory states of being, these transitory raptures that held Virgil; I pine after the lust of the dripping juice of grapes. And what am I? A fly, buzzing around the vine.

O Lord I repent! O Lord forgive my soul for I repent. I am as one transformed before the temple into images unrecognizable, for I in my soul repent and shed some of that former glory that in times I reserved from myself instead of rendering it unto (as is his due) the Eternal Creator and God.

O God Eternal Creator I repent. There are seventy-two faces of the Lord. Who therefore can do penance before him? And yet the prayer declares, firmly, we declare, "Alaynu l'shabai'ach l'adon ha'kol" : it is ours to praise the Lord of all. Ours to praise him? It is ours? We were created for this purpose, or we are merely allowed to utter...?

It is said that God created in the Man the yetzer hara, for without evil councils, man's soul could never perform the work of Tikkun Olam. But listen, God surely created the yetzer tov! And the yetzer tov is a sweet thing where she leads and men follow, so Solomon called her Wisdom, and it is surely for this reason that the Greeks had another name for the yetzer tov and they named her the muses (even in their naming straying in the paths and after the ways of gods, but they did not know). O heresies! O wonders! When the muses whisper to man, when I hear the call of the yetzer tov it is as if all sweetness were entering my soul and all fresh air my lungs. I am as one who has long been underground, for it says, does it not, 'In the day of the Lord he will go to hide in the caves, for he has sinned'. For I have sinned. I am as one who has turned from One.

God I offer my graces to you. God I offer all sweet things. But as for your followers I gently rebuke them: come, you have not offered yourself up to the Lord. You have stood in a corner speaking very fast, but what are you speaking? For surely one sweet word before the Lord is as good as a thousand dank eviscerations, cut and clipped evasions from the soul; blessed is he who prays like the dawn and the setting sun! You would not listen and so you were sundered and will you cease to listen still?

Who can understand the mystery of History. We are not as prophets, we have not the ruach ha'kodesh and we presume to judge all the manners in which God eloquates the earth (for what is creation but his eloquation and his eternal elocution? Creation is poetry, for he said, "Let there be light" and miracle of miracles there was light; for poets imitate this when they try and conjure before the mind dim figures and shadows of shadows cast from a lighted lamp). So if Jesus was meant to serve a purpose, who are we to cast him down? But then I turn to the sinners on the other side, by that I mean those who have strayed from the Lord, and I entreat them, "Earnestly, earnestly if you desire the savior, if you desire to savor God then pardon, pardon us! For the Lord is all forgiving, and have the Jews been destroyed? Surely we have suffered for our sins! Yes surely we have suffered! For what is history? History is the suffering for sin! Yes! Even the lips of the prophets declare and beseech, each day, every one, their flapping lips, 'Yes, because you have sinned, yes this is the history.' O O O! We have done error, we have done favor, we have been pardoned, and we sin. But we come to account for our sins. And yours? For surely it is written: 'You shall not kill a man, neither shall you murder a man, neither shall you think concerning him evil thoughts in your mind...' and yet you have killed and murdered and thought about him evil thoughts in your mind. Repent, O Christians, repent and follow Christ. Christ, whom we flayed, follow him! For it is right that we follow our God and it is right that you follow your God, and your God and our God are one. But we were made to see them in different aspects; we were made to see in history the play of different shadows and the movement of different lights. And it is not to us to offer strange sacrifices before the Lord! But you...you are free to worship God as He has seen fit, and surely, surely he has told you how to worship Him...and us, yes us, He has surely told us how to worship Him! For this is the mercy, that man seeking God found response, and man said, 'I seek to kneel at your feet. I seek to prostrate myself. I seek sacrifice. Let me give you my life, my land, my children, my only son!' and God said, 'No, these are the terms and this is the way, and in my footsteps you shall follow; you who trod upon my path.' And what is the sin of the Israelites? What is that thing that blackens our name? Zeal to worship! Zeal to sacrifice! For of any other nation on earth has it ever been said, 'They are sinful for they followed in the strange ways of gods whom they did not know, nor did they see them?' O wonder of wonders! O wonder at the nation of Israel; for as other nations on the earth were called to account because they stole much good grain; because they pillaged; because they plundered; because they violated and desecrated women; because they desecrated the altars of the gods (and even Odysseus was called to account for ten long years because of a stalwart confidence in his abilities that was unwarranted, unconsidered) but we? Why are we called to account? Because in our zeal to worship, we strayed from haShem. We strayed from the true God and we are called to account. We did not stray, however, into the wickedness of other nations; our part was not to steal, to plunder, to pillage, or to defile; but we were held to a higher standard, and though we rose above the ranks of the other men, of the pagans, the barbarous nations of Canaan; though we never sank to such stages of defilement -- yet we did not rise to God, and for that we were defiled. So I would entreat you, Christians, brothers all, to recognize our Holy Covenant with God. That you, too, might recognize your Holy Covenant with God. And among all who are righteous, God abides, for does it not say, 'God is close to all who call upon him, Karov Adoshem l'chal k'roiav' -- in our liturgy as well as yours? Therefore to the Christians I would say 'Peace, and may we no longer again know war, for "lo yisa goy el goy herev" and they shall not again know war.' And as it was the laudable custom of the Latins to say in greeting, 'Be healthy' and in parting, 'Be strong' -- not because they understood absence to be a condition in species intolerable but rather because they truly desired the welfare and strength of their brothers and friends, so I say to you, 'Vale et valete'."

But as for You O God, how I am to return to You, against whom I have sinned? For I might admonish the Christians for their impudence and the Jews for their impiety, but as for You, can I admonish myself? No! The very God must speak to me! The very heavens must open up and the angels come forth. The heavens shake and my frame, this mortal being, this maceration of dust -- dust -- dust! Yes it must collapse. Yes it must fall under the heavens. Yes I have fallen from grace. O God take me into Your loving arms. O God forge me anew. O God help me find in my soul Your derech -- derech aretz, the way of the land, the way of my people, the way of my soul, the way of my God. For you have given to all peoples to know You and to the heathen that approaches You have said, "Come around the other way, that I might speak to you." For to the Jews You have given a Torah and to the Christians a Savior (and wonder of wonders it is possible in the world You created that You should be able to manifest Yourself in mortal and divine nature in the various divisions and macerations of Your salvation, even as Aristotle says that two contrary statements cannot abide in logic, yet You can abide in contradictions!) but what can You give to me? For I have not learned from the wisdom of men nor from the wisdom of gods and nor from the wisdom of God. O God, if I do not hear the voice of Your angels, what hope is it that I have that You might speak to me? And if I cannot hear the cries of the earth, then how am I to open my mind to the heavens? For surely You have said, "Righteousness, righteousness, shalt thou pursue", yet I walk in difficult paths, and my hand is the measure of my prudence, and my foot is the measure of steadfast promise to serve a God that seems beyond the world like the setting sun. O God I have fallen! Restore me, ressurect me; as You did for Jesus, so for me; as You did for the Torah, so for me! Let not a sacriligious word utter forth from these uncircumcised lips. For if I speak evil of the heavenly host, surely I speak evil of You! And yet! O God O God O God let me worship none other than You, and let me call You by Your ineffable and Holy Name, for should I use any other name, surely the occasion warrants that name and to speak of You is sacrilege even in the most minor and festive occasions, if these are to be compared to speaking to you in the sanctity, solemnity, and enduring everlasting compassion and kindness of Your person, those two qualities of which the Kabbalists spoke. O Kingship of kingship and O friend of friends. Compared to You all earthly joys perish, and compared to You all mortals rot away like the fruit of the vine. Let me be sanctified in Your presence, sanctified in Your eyes, that You might turn Your face to me with compassion and establish peace for me, let me be sanctified like a Sabbath wine. And may all the heavenly choirs exclaiming "Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh haShem Tzva'kos m'lo cal ha'aretz c'vodo" exclaim loudly, clearly, together, for my favor, for my love, let them exclaim for one eternal instant in everlasting infinitude, "Amen"; and you, reader, peace be with you, baruch haShem.

The world is revolving around the sun at the same moment that it rotates around its axis, 360 degrees a day 940 million miles a year of travels through the sky which is eternally black pierced by spots of white rather like dandruff on an obsidian table-top. We are left with with the impression of the cold night-wanderer and the rain in his brown locks soaked dripping, clinging, heaving his pack about the night. Is there a light? She is the pale bath of the moon. The moonlight trickles down at her speed and neither warms nor must instill in the wanderer much hope, but she is there, a beauty to be gazed at.

The notion of our hearing is connected intimately to separated spheres of experience. All of our senses take place in a void between consciousness and neglect, the void of existence, absent of the devil's trust and void of meaning. All things cycle endlessly back into their proper moment, space and time dissipate into darkness and rise like smoke at an altar.

Pain channels through every experience and in the thrust of a movement, the individual strums and hums of life become more real; the same for pleasure. If there is some object that is the definite source of all emotions and consciousness we should call that object the divine; our experience draws us closer, pulls us and pushes us, this is the meaning of heaven and hell.

A spider crafts her weave in intricacies; man crafts his weave in intricacies; God crafts his weave in intricacies. The complexity is apparent; the exact genius of it remains an eternal mystery to the eye; and it is in the void between sensual experience and intellectual apprehension that the mind comprehends, an experience which is communicated to the very extremities; a pounding in the heart a tingle in the fingertips.

All experiences are weaving themselves as we speak into a coherent whole. The chains of our lives are unbroken, stretching endlessly backward and forward to their source; the weave is of gold and it is a shining unity in the glimmering sun. The sun moves all things to warmth; but to stand in the sun too long is to burn. We are all burning in the light of a faith that is too strong for us; we will break.

Twice a day, pious Jews recite the Sh'ma. What is the Jew? An exile in the land of plenty, the long-suffering, the faithful people. When the prophets declared fire and brimstone their genius was fire and brimstone -- repent, but know the sinner that his sin is the source of his suffering. We have been faithful to pain for thousands of years. Lord, our rock and our redeemer. Even blocks of ice will melt; they drip down in the spring, they fall in a rushing, they flood they plains, they water the Negeb.

Our redemption flows like rivers through the Negeb.

And is it to know that we repeat? Or is it to experience? There is something beyond individual pleasure. There is something beyond individual love. God is said to be ineffable because though we can say that he is elusive or he is love or he is light or pleasure and happiness or wonder, we cannot say what wonder is, nor in saying can we hope to experience. What is the movement of God in the soul? It is an imperceptible feeling, it is no more true than the rotation of the earth, its revolution, the axioms of existence. To say that I feel God is to say nothing more than I feel gravity; to take joy in gravity is not to understand; everything flees, life is not ineluctable or inevitable, it is exactly the opposite; all things flow into eternity.

Atheists are not atheists. Atheism is impossible. Because it is merely a quibble over labels; eternity is a common truth to all and ineffability is also a common truth to all. All speech reaches the point of reference, the dangling ends of a cord that are sparking with electric shocks, beyond which -- nothing can be comprehended. And as much as the atheist asserts there is no God, he cannot assert that he is without awe. Because the universe is awful. The atheist only rejects the notion that God is at all personal, that God in very fact and deed cares; that there is some plan. But the atheist cannot reject God, only protest his involvement in the earth.

And how does God work in the world? Is it through science? Do the laws of nature stand as his testimony? Are they the sparks of his thought? We can have no surety of this. It is a strange anathema to say that God operates in history -- as if one were talking of economic laws or of astronomical certainties. For instance: "The end of prayer in schools was the end of the schools; the sixties cut from their circuit and at ends the chords that led God to resound even in the institutions. The power blackened, the light ceased." No. God is not a principle of which it can be said, "So it is." God is not pleasure, either; of God nothing can be said at all. So why do we worship? Why do we desire awe?

Man was made in the image of God because he is the race of questions through neurons at the speed of light; the light flickering of a shaft from a cold planet that orbits about a weary wanderer, we are dancing in circles, we are the slow tempest and the limbo; but when the breaking of sun comes across the hills and the sky is red and gold --

God is not pleasure, but through pleasure and all kinds of pains and grief and the dull monotony of living we come to Him.