If it were to my portion, I would continually ignore and decry the Creator. The work of creation is immense, and to declaim it fills the individual with the same power of voice and anger of bearing that God must have felt when he shaped it and forged it. It is ours to tear down the walls of creation being that we eternally seek to eviscerate ourselves and find God. But God is hiding even beyond the walls. How is it that it can be said, "As God must have felt..."? Because God created man in the image of God. The first work of art. But it was the Image of God and it was not God Himself. Therefore it is an abomination to create images of God; for if even God could not suffice in and of Himself to create Himself, but instead in the mystery of His own image He made man, then how are we to presume to create God? And therefore the prohibition against all forms of idolatry, for even the ancients presumed to create new gods when the occasion warranted or it was convenient.

And I too am guilty of the presumption of creating my own gods. With words and with the flesh I imitate these transitory states of being, these transitory raptures that held Virgil; I pine after the lust of the dripping juice of grapes. And what am I? A fly, buzzing around the vine.

O Lord I repent! O Lord forgive my soul for I repent. I am as one transformed before the temple into images unrecognizable, for I in my soul repent and shed some of that former glory that in times I reserved from myself instead of rendering it unto (as is his due) the Eternal Creator and God.

O God Eternal Creator I repent. There are seventy-two faces of the Lord. Who therefore can do penance before him? And yet the prayer declares, firmly, we declare, "Alaynu l'shabai'ach l'adon ha'kol" : it is ours to praise the Lord of all. Ours to praise him? It is ours? We were created for this purpose, or we are merely allowed to utter...?

It is said that God created in the Man the yetzer hara, for without evil councils, man's soul could never perform the work of Tikkun Olam. But listen, God surely created the yetzer tov! And the yetzer tov is a sweet thing where she leads and men follow, so Solomon called her Wisdom, and it is surely for this reason that the Greeks had another name for the yetzer tov and they named her the muses (even in their naming straying in the paths and after the ways of gods, but they did not know). O heresies! O wonders! When the muses whisper to man, when I hear the call of the yetzer tov it is as if all sweetness were entering my soul and all fresh air my lungs. I am as one who has long been underground, for it says, does it not, 'In the day of the Lord he will go to hide in the caves, for he has sinned'. For I have sinned. I am as one who has turned from One.

God I offer my graces to you. God I offer all sweet things. But as for your followers I gently rebuke them: come, you have not offered yourself up to the Lord. You have stood in a corner speaking very fast, but what are you speaking? For surely one sweet word before the Lord is as good as a thousand dank eviscerations, cut and clipped evasions from the soul; blessed is he who prays like the dawn and the setting sun! You would not listen and so you were sundered and will you cease to listen still?

Who can understand the mystery of History. We are not as prophets, we have not the ruach ha'kodesh and we presume to judge all the manners in which God eloquates the earth (for what is creation but his eloquation and his eternal elocution? Creation is poetry, for he said, "Let there be light" and miracle of miracles there was light; for poets imitate this when they try and conjure before the mind dim figures and shadows of shadows cast from a lighted lamp). So if Jesus was meant to serve a purpose, who are we to cast him down? But then I turn to the sinners on the other side, by that I mean those who have strayed from the Lord, and I entreat them, "Earnestly, earnestly if you desire the savior, if you desire to savor God then pardon, pardon us! For the Lord is all forgiving, and have the Jews been destroyed? Surely we have suffered for our sins! Yes surely we have suffered! For what is history? History is the suffering for sin! Yes! Even the lips of the prophets declare and beseech, each day, every one, their flapping lips, 'Yes, because you have sinned, yes this is the history.' O O O! We have done error, we have done favor, we have been pardoned, and we sin. But we come to account for our sins. And yours? For surely it is written: 'You shall not kill a man, neither shall you murder a man, neither shall you think concerning him evil thoughts in your mind...' and yet you have killed and murdered and thought about him evil thoughts in your mind. Repent, O Christians, repent and follow Christ. Christ, whom we flayed, follow him! For it is right that we follow our God and it is right that you follow your God, and your God and our God are one. But we were made to see them in different aspects; we were made to see in history the play of different shadows and the movement of different lights. And it is not to us to offer strange sacrifices before the Lord! But you...you are free to worship God as He has seen fit, and surely, surely he has told you how to worship Him...and us, yes us, He has surely told us how to worship Him! For this is the mercy, that man seeking God found response, and man said, 'I seek to kneel at your feet. I seek to prostrate myself. I seek sacrifice. Let me give you my life, my land, my children, my only son!' and God said, 'No, these are the terms and this is the way, and in my footsteps you shall follow; you who trod upon my path.' And what is the sin of the Israelites? What is that thing that blackens our name? Zeal to worship! Zeal to sacrifice! For of any other nation on earth has it ever been said, 'They are sinful for they followed in the strange ways of gods whom they did not know, nor did they see them?' O wonder of wonders! O wonder at the nation of Israel; for as other nations on the earth were called to account because they stole much good grain; because they pillaged; because they plundered; because they violated and desecrated women; because they desecrated the altars of the gods (and even Odysseus was called to account for ten long years because of a stalwart confidence in his abilities that was unwarranted, unconsidered) but we? Why are we called to account? Because in our zeal to worship, we strayed from haShem. We strayed from the true God and we are called to account. We did not stray, however, into the wickedness of other nations; our part was not to steal, to plunder, to pillage, or to defile; but we were held to a higher standard, and though we rose above the ranks of the other men, of the pagans, the barbarous nations of Canaan; though we never sank to such stages of defilement -- yet we did not rise to God, and for that we were defiled. So I would entreat you, Christians, brothers all, to recognize our Holy Covenant with God. That you, too, might recognize your Holy Covenant with God. And among all who are righteous, God abides, for does it not say, 'God is close to all who call upon him, Karov Adoshem l'chal k'roiav' -- in our liturgy as well as yours? Therefore to the Christians I would say 'Peace, and may we no longer again know war, for "lo yisa goy el goy herev" and they shall not again know war.' And as it was the laudable custom of the Latins to say in greeting, 'Be healthy' and in parting, 'Be strong' -- not because they understood absence to be a condition in species intolerable but rather because they truly desired the welfare and strength of their brothers and friends, so I say to you, 'Vale et valete'."

But as for You O God, how I am to return to You, against whom I have sinned? For I might admonish the Christians for their impudence and the Jews for their impiety, but as for You, can I admonish myself? No! The very God must speak to me! The very heavens must open up and the angels come forth. The heavens shake and my frame, this mortal being, this maceration of dust -- dust -- dust! Yes it must collapse. Yes it must fall under the heavens. Yes I have fallen from grace. O God take me into Your loving arms. O God forge me anew. O God help me find in my soul Your derech -- derech aretz, the way of the land, the way of my people, the way of my soul, the way of my God. For you have given to all peoples to know You and to the heathen that approaches You have said, "Come around the other way, that I might speak to you." For to the Jews You have given a Torah and to the Christians a Savior (and wonder of wonders it is possible in the world You created that You should be able to manifest Yourself in mortal and divine nature in the various divisions and macerations of Your salvation, even as Aristotle says that two contrary statements cannot abide in logic, yet You can abide in contradictions!) but what can You give to me? For I have not learned from the wisdom of men nor from the wisdom of gods and nor from the wisdom of God. O God, if I do not hear the voice of Your angels, what hope is it that I have that You might speak to me? And if I cannot hear the cries of the earth, then how am I to open my mind to the heavens? For surely You have said, "Righteousness, righteousness, shalt thou pursue", yet I walk in difficult paths, and my hand is the measure of my prudence, and my foot is the measure of steadfast promise to serve a God that seems beyond the world like the setting sun. O God I have fallen! Restore me, ressurect me; as You did for Jesus, so for me; as You did for the Torah, so for me! Let not a sacriligious word utter forth from these uncircumcised lips. For if I speak evil of the heavenly host, surely I speak evil of You! And yet! O God O God O God let me worship none other than You, and let me call You by Your ineffable and Holy Name, for should I use any other name, surely the occasion warrants that name and to speak of You is sacrilege even in the most minor and festive occasions, if these are to be compared to speaking to you in the sanctity, solemnity, and enduring everlasting compassion and kindness of Your person, those two qualities of which the Kabbalists spoke. O Kingship of kingship and O friend of friends. Compared to You all earthly joys perish, and compared to You all mortals rot away like the fruit of the vine. Let me be sanctified in Your presence, sanctified in Your eyes, that You might turn Your face to me with compassion and establish peace for me, let me be sanctified like a Sabbath wine. And may all the heavenly choirs exclaiming "Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh haShem Tzva'kos m'lo cal ha'aretz c'vodo" exclaim loudly, clearly, together, for my favor, for my love, let them exclaim for one eternal instant in everlasting infinitude, "Amen"; and you, reader, peace be with you, baruch haShem.