Tonight, I went out with Chris to see The Matrix: Reloaded. Okay, so the philosophy is heavy handed, and so it's all about the action -- still, it's an awesome movie, visually and in terms of structure. I love it; I would recommend it.

After that, Chris drove with me to pick up his boyfriend and get dinner. Then we went to Brit's appartment where we watched Moulin Rouge, which is a good movie.

And if this journal entry feels somewhat fabricated, somewhat lacking in usual insight, somewhat devoid of life and spirit, it's because I hesitate as too how closely I should pry into the lives of those I know and love, to what extent I should open up the carcass of their persons to the inspection of the great, big, wide world. It was a nervous night -- I could have done a lot of things better. Not made jokes about Colfax, for instance.

Chris and Brit seemed happy together at the end of the night. I didn't want to be there; I didn't want them to think I felt left out. I did, of course. So I lay there, on their couch, imagining myself consumed in the embraces of some lover. Some person who is out there right now, who perhaps longs for my embraces -- we won't know it until we have met and are happily settled together. I don't know -- this is ridiculously corny and sentimental. I know nothing about love. And yet I love everybody. And yet I long.

I had a dream about JD a couple of nights ago; I don't remember the details, except that we kissed. I doubt it means anything, except that I miss him. I miss Nick as well. No romantic interest there either, but I love them. I can't express it; whenever I'm with them I make so many horrible mistakes, I say so many awful things, yet my love is sincere. I don't know. Trying to squeeze into a suit that doesn't fit, maybe.

I don't know. It's hard to think about friends at 3:00 in the AM. Anyway, to love I say love. As for Brit, Christopher, Nick, JD, Tom, Mom, Dad, Lele, Mr. Bo Jangles (our new and adorable puppy), Val, Ben, Todd and all the others, I love you dearly. Yes, a meaningless word, yes a meaningless phrase, but worth something for the compensation I hope to give.

Oh, and there is a certain Dan that needs to be mentioned. He feels he should be included in this blog. So I am including you Dan, my first (and only) avid fan. Now I shall stop dropping names, for this is not the Catalogue of Ships and I am not Homer. Pedestrian writing. Ick.