Last night, I met up with my pot-smoking ultra-Christian ultra-liberal friends and we all went to a rave. At first it seemed pretty lame (there were a lot of high-schoolers and, from the looks of it, even middle-schoolers there) but as the night progressed, I got into a kind of groove. I was just there dancing and everybody else was dancing with me; age, gender, race, sexuality, none of it mattered. We were all equal. We were all part of a homogeneous group and we were all dancing and dancing for hours. It was a tribal, cultic, new-age hippie kind of thing, but I enjoyed it immensely.

Afterwards my friends invited me to stay the night and have breakfast with them. Well...I haven't seen them in about three weeks, but I really wanted to go home and get my homework done. I feel kind've bad about that -- I mean, I'm completely obsessive compulsive. Well, anyway, Nick managed to read my mind and offered to take me back home. I'll have breakfast with them some other time...

So I'm here for another month. I haven't found a boyfriend, and at this point, if I do find a boyfriend I'm just gonna have to leave and be in Colorado for six weeks, and that'll be kind've lame. I suppose I'm reaching the point where I realize that I'm just going to be single, if not forever, then at least for the forseeable future. And it isn't that bad. Not having sex ever isn't that bad, not having someone to hold, not having someone to talk to about intimate things you wouldn't tell anyone else. Really. Life is perfectly tolerable without a boyfriend, and I should face it, I am alive. Plus I've decided to make up for my lack of a boyfriend by trying to be more beautiful...okay, so I can't do very much with wardrobe, but I am working out. If I'm gonna be a single, sexless loser (sexless like Nietzsche, not like Macbeth's wife) then I should at least look fabulous doing it.